Happy Birthday Hemmy

Hemmy is the ripe old age of 28 today!  My parents are out in British Columbia visiting with him and Chipmunk.  I hope you guys are having fun!

In honor of Hemmy's birthday I thought I would share a little story with you all.

When Hemmy and I were growing up, he had plenty of gross little habits (milk slurping, fart cupping, belch blowing) but none was more repulsive then his method for clipping his toenails.  Instead of using a clipper, like a normal human being, Hemmy used his mouth.  Yes, you read that right, he used to BITE his toenails off.  Usually, if I was in striking distance, one the toenail was disconnected, he would spit it at me.  I still cringe at the thought of being pelted in the forehead with my brother's rhino toenails.  

Since we haven't lived together in 12 years, I had assumed that he had grown out of this habit.

I thought wrong.

Below is an email I got from Chipmunk this very week...

Heading:  Your brother is gross!

Funny story that I thought you might enjoy (or just be disgusted knowing).  We had a ceiling fan installed yesterday (thanks to your wonderful parents!), so we had to move the couch and pull up the rug.  When I went to clean up after and move everything back to where it was, I had to get out the vacuum, because there were at least 15 chewed toenails under the couch and rug, courtesy of your brother, who drinks beer, watches TV and chews his toenails - in his mouth. GROSS!

Hope that painted a pretty picture for you!

Chipmunk XOXO

Chipmunk is a brave, brave girl.  

Happy Birthday Hemmy, I love you to bits and pieces (and I promise to get you an industrial strength toenail clipper for Christmas)!

Birthday Wishes!

I know, I know...I am pretty much saturating my blog with a bunch of birthday posts...but June is a big month for my family.

That said.

Dad, Happy Freaking Birthday!  I have already called and left you an annoying rendition of Happy Birthday on your answering machine (complete with a wicked cackle when I realize how old you are)!  You are old, but you wouldn't really know it by looking at you.  Yeah, sure, you have a few wrinkles and some grey hair, but at least you don't look like Randy, or worse, Grandma (HA!  Whatev, she never reads the blog anyways).   Love you!

My brother's girlfriend, aka, Chipmunk.  I hope to God, that my brother makes an honest woman out of you soon!  Tell that big brat to put a damn ring on your finger...tell him I told him so.  All jokes aside (not that proposing is a joke), I hope you have a truly kickin' birthday!  We cannot wait to see you in December and tear into our Super Colossal's with you!  Wish we could be there to toast a cold one to your special day.

Much Love,

Rikki